Jan 28, 2009

Donna Eden DVD's

Watching the Donna Eden DVDs is both inspiring and daunting(so much work to do!.
Lots of hope - especially considering she used to be SO SICK!!!
Now she's amazingly vibrant.

Jan 25, 2009

Same Old, Same Old

Not many words in me today.
Just many feelings.
Hard to express

try anyhow

Ache, lonely, yearning, emptiness, sad, tired, same old same old
over and
over and
over again.

How many YEARS of
no exercise
no eat well
no drink enough water
no meditate
no move forward.

So frustrated with self!

But how to change?

Jan 23, 2009

More Migraine

traded one side for the other
at least this one's not as bad
This pain has teeth.
Dull, gnawing away at my head.
No wonder people kill themselves if they can't get relief.

tell me
your name (pain)
what makes you tick?
Something drives you - life of your own
Remove the source of your fuel
and will you wind down to a stop?


please note - I do get relief from my migraines - this poem was expressing my feelings - no need to worry that I'm suicidal - just was thinking about hearing of migraine sufferers being at higher risk for suicide.


Jan 22, 2009

Quiet Evening

drifting languid evening

napping cats
soft tick of clock

a gentle time of day

a hawk roosts in the dark.

Squirrels tuck their little paws
into their dried leaf nests.

Raccoons venture out
in hopes of an early snack.

Smell Invasion

has invaded my home
my safe space... isn't.

I must make
a safe space
within myself
that I can carry
wherever I go.


Jan 21, 2009

Migraine Transformation

Light hurts
sound hurts
movement hurts

the pulse of blood through my body

There is no escape but sleep
and all this pain make sleep

Once the pain is finally gone,
I feel reborn!
Nervous and fearful at first
lest any sudden move
or bright light
bring back the pain

but as time passes
and I believe I am safe,
I feel both exhausted
and very alive.

Newly alive.

For those few days,
my entire world was pain.
My very self consumed. Dead to the world.

Such a relief then, a joy,
to find I still exist.

Jan 19, 2009

Wisdom of Nature

Doves sitting calmly in the tree
tell me neither falcon nor hawk
are nearby

The wisdom of nature
even in the city

Watch for it

The animals, plants and trees
have not forgotten
the deep, primal truths

This feel to the air tells of snow,
this one of rain or drought.
No clocks are needed to know the 'time'...
the seasons unfold perfectly even in the absence of calendars.
A hundred little signs speak of changes to come.

Be aware.
Tune in.

What is nature saying today?

Gentle wind
grey skies
snow sifting, drifting softly down

A day for burrowing down
into nest or den
for fluffing up feathers
and conserving heat

Bigger flakes now
faster wind

A good time
for a warm drink.

no flow while typing

trying to flow while typing.
but it really just isn't working so I've given up again.
back to the good old pen and paper.

I wonder if the earlier patterns and pathways forged in my brain are more intact than later ones?

Perhaps they were deeper, more permanent -
having been travelled over and over and over again.

If so,
in theory,
I should type MORE
not less.

But I don't want to.
Especially since I have problems with my arms lately.
nickle dackle

the things that pop into my mind are weird sometimes!
flow doesn't happen very easily when I am typing
takes too much brain power to type
and then
the connections between thoughts, feelings and words slip away from me

better to write on paper and later post to blog

good to know

Empty is not the right word... but it is

such a strange
empty space
to be in

the words
one side
the means to
express them
the other

and I
the middle

I cannot find
the -

ironically, even this -

it's like -

so empty


Empty is the right word but it doesn't make sense.
In fact, I am so full of thoughts, ideas, feelings
but all the..
the -
connecting bits don't work

A tempest rages in my mind
All of the pieces are still there

the things, stuff, ___?___, that held them together coherently feels
torn apart by the wind, rain

What is the wind?

If the storm eased,
would the words draw together again fluidly like before?
Or are the pathways, connections damaged beyond repair?

Only time will tell
despite outward appearances

Jan 18, 2009

short circuit between brain and hand

Hard, cold words
crisp against the page

"A poem a day"

short circuit between
brain and hand
makes this much harder than expected.

Frugality of words appeals
thoughts condensed to essence


bone tired

"Would you wear confidence like a cloak?"

Emphatic, "No!"

"It would be my very bones.
Shoring me up from the INside."